A Misty Morning Ride and the Nosy Inner Voice

Mark Twain once said “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”.

This is the sage advice given by many. Do the thing that you are most likely to delay, the first thing in the morning.

I think it is sensible advice. For me, to go for a walk/run/ride seems to be a daily battle. Well, generally walking is fine, but for run and ride, the resistance increases. I hope you can stay tuned till the end, where I reveal something important!

I decided to cycle to the Airport and back. It is around 60 KMS roundtrip from where I live. Once I went near the cycle, I had the feeling, should I do it? Why do I want to get into this needless trip?

Once I cycled 10 Kilometers, the mist seems to increase, and the visibility was poor. The first thought that came to me was to let me go back. What if something happens? I do not have term insurance as well! However, a voice inside me said you are cycling, and you need to know what is 5 meters ahead of you. You cannot figure out everything. Stop giving yourself excuses and keep pedaling.

Finally, I did get into a rhythm and was beginning to enjoy. I saw vehicles and other riders whizzing past me, and I wanted to keep pace with other riders and tried to step up the pedaling, only to hurt my knee. I slowed down and comforted myself with the thought ‘Do your Ride.You are neither in a rally nor a race. Enjoy yourself.’

I was about 5 kilometers from the Airport, and I thought I would make it. Let me relax a bit and then go for the last 5 kilometers. I thought it is only five kilometers and I was sure I would do it. I even thought logically I have made it to the Airport and I can turn back. However, again the inner voice came back and said. Logically achieving and achieving it are two different things. Your tea can wait. Just get to the Airport. Get to the finish line.

Interestingly one bystander who was standing was confused me cycling to the Airport. He asked me in local language ‘Sir, Are you going to the Airport ?’ and I could sense bewilderment is his voice. Not many will comprehend what the heck you are up to, but you must keep moving.

I reached the Airport and took the necessary photos, as evidence and primarily to inspire/irritate others in the group that I generally keep indulging. Again this damned inner voice of mine raised itself and said ‘Boss hang on. You have to get back!’ All my momentary euphoria evaporated. I cursed my inner voice, turned back and started to pedal back slowly. Well begun is half done!

The inner voice asked me to pause, stop over for a tea, but I tried to push myself and gave up. Know when to pause.

The ride back was more or less mechanical, smooth and it seemed to me that the inner voice knowing very well that it had done its job kept quiet. Having done its job for half the distance, it seemed to know, that I am well on my course for finishing what I started.

I had another curious observation during the ride. Within the first few Kilometers, I encountered an uphill. I prayed to God, get me past that uphill. Once I crossed the climbing, I patted myself back and forgot about God. That pattern continued throughout the journey. When stuck, invoke God and when smooth, think of it as my achievement. It is a funny thing. So many people help me in life when I am stuck and yet when things go well, I think ‘I did it.’ No amount of mindfulness seems to get rid of that ‘I.’

I mirror this ride with the emotions that I keep having in my life while doing many things, and I think I can draw a parallel. In both the cases, the following were the dominant emotions

• Uncertainty
• Self Doubt
• Unhealthy Comparisons
• Premature Celebrations
• Thinking everyone will understand
• Having a wrong understanding of the finish line
• Not knowing when to pause
• A heavily bloated ego

However, when the mist cleared on the way back and when the inner voice became silent the mist inside of me also cleared up a bit, and I think the ride taught me the following lessons

• Make a beginning, when uncertain
• Keep moving in periods of self-doubt
• Ride your race, and do not fall prey to benchmarks that are of no significance
• Earn your celebrations, do not get confused with fictitious achievements
• Not everyone will be on board, do not waste time convincing
• Get to the finish and have a clear understanding of what it is
• Take your breaks. There is no need to be dead on arrival
• Be more grateful to everyone who helped you along the journey

If you think I have given you the formula for being successful in whatever you aspire is a 60KM cycle ride, I would be insulting your intelligence.

I profess to do no such things. I am just sharing the thoughts and lessons of a 60 KM ride, and I have no idea if the lessons will stay in my selective amnesic brain! I am still wondering at the inconsistency of my thoughts, the nature of those thoughts, before, while and after the ride.

Do your ride and possibly share what you felt.

However do consider the below!

I think when you ride, you should ride. Get some good headphones, listen to some good music, feel the nice breeze and finish it with a sumptuous breakfast.

Do not allow any damned thoughts to come in!

This New Year — Stop analyzing. Start doing.

Enjoy Maadi (Have Fun)

Zunder